The accalimed and award-winning 'Buddha in the Boardroom' series of books on managing stress, controlling anger and finding happiness.

There are now 4 books available in the acclaimed Buddha in the Boardroom series.

Book 1 is the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’ which concentrates on managing job stress. Chapters include: Competition, Defusing Conflicts, Anger management, Workplace stress, Risk management, Handling change, Decision making, Time management, Ethics, Motivation and many more! The Buddhist principals covered are: The Four Noble Truths, The Eightfold Path and The Three Poisons. Read More

Book 2 is ‘Back to the Boardroom’ and is a continuation of ‘Buddha in the Boardroom.’ Chapters include: Difficult Bosses, Burnout, Working in Customer Service, Workplace Rumors, Boredom, Anxiety, Foul Language and many more! The Buddhist principals covered include Living in the Moment and The Universal Law of Impermanence. Read More

Book 3 in the series is ‘Tomorrow’s Happiness Begins Today’ and covers how each individuals happiness is their own responsibility and includes many simple suggestions for creating more happiness in your life. This book was chosen by T. Harv Eker, New York Times best selling author of ‘Secrets of the Millionaire Mind,’ as a free bonus when attending one of his weekend seminars. Read More

Book 4 is ‘Stop the Anger!’ In it you will Discover why getting angry only makes matters worse and you will learn simple techniques for controlling your anger before your anger controls you. Don't get mad, get Buddha! Read More

More information is available at http://www.bodhitreepublishing.com

Stop the Anger! now available from Bodhi Tree Publishing

‘Stop the Anger’ the latest addition in the acclaim and award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’ series of self-help books is now available from Bodhi Tree Publishing.



Do you find yourself getting angry for no reason?

Are you repeating the same hassles day after day?

Are you tired of dealing with angry people?

Anger is controllable!

Learn new solutions for dealing with old problems.

Learn more about Stop the Anger!

Simple truths. Easy lessons. A better life.

Discover for yourself why Buddhism is for every one!

To learn more about the 'Buddha in the Boardroom' series of books for handling stress, managing anger and finding happiness: www.bodhitreepublishing.com

Are Your Goals Holding You Back?

In six months I am going to be rich.

Ok, probably not, but it’s a nice goal, isn’t it? Well actually, it’s more of a dream than a goal. Setting a goal with little likelihood of success usually leads to failure. Eventually we drop the goal and move on to something else.

So does that mean that goal setting has little value? Absolutely not, it means we have to be smart about the goals we set.

I write books for a living and I often have people tell me, “Oh, I always wanted to write a book.”

When I ask them what happened, they explain, “I’m good at starting a book, I just can’t seem to finish a book.”

To be honest with you, if the only goal I ever set was ‘I’m going to write a book’ then I’m afraid I’d still be working on my first one. I have discovered that properly setting a goal is a two-step process:

First, I set my final goal. An example would be ‘I’m going to write a book.’

Next, I break that final goal down into achievable goals: ‘I’m going to write a chapter’ or even ’I’m going to write a paragraph.’

By setting goals that are realistic and obtainable we actually accomplish two things: we move closer to our final goal and instead of being discouraged, we find ourselves being motivated by the progress we’re making.

So, how does this help if your goal is to become rich? Well, you could set a realistic goal of reading books by Napoleon Hill, Donald Trump and T. Harv Eker to see how others have done it. You could go back to school to improve your education and then find a better paying job. You could decide to take 10%, 5% or even just 1% of your weekly pay check and put it aside for investment purposes.

No matter what your final goal is, there are a dozen ways you can break it down into more attainable ones.

There is an ancient proverb that says, ‘The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.’ What the proverb doesn’t tell you is that the rest of the thousand miles is also a series of single steps.

Remember, even the smallest step in the right direction is progress toward reaching your goals.


Gary Mosher is co-author of the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’ series of books on reducing stress, controlling anger and finding happiness in today’s chaotic world. Discover for yourself why regardless of your own religious beliefs, anyone following the gentle philosophy of Buddhism will find no conflict while living a fuller, happier and more productive life. Learn more at http://www.bodhitreepublishing.com

MOTORCYCLE RACING

I’ve never gone this fast before! Varoom! I’m riding a motorcycle, the engine is roaring in my ears and the machine is vibrating beneath me like a wild animal when suddenly, complete silence. I can’t believe it, the engine cuts out and I’m just coasting to a stop…

Then just as suddenly, zooommm! The engine roars back to life and the acceleration is incredible. I’m holding on tight and going so fast everything around me is a blur. And then total silence and I’m coasting again…

Then zooommm and off I go once again! I’ve never experienced anything like it, the most thrilling ride of my life! And then silence and coasting…

And then I wake up and discover it was all a dream and Nancy’s head is butted up against mine. She’s congested and snoring in my ear to the rhythm of my racing motorcycle ride. You know you’ve been married a long time when your spouse starts supplying the sound effects in your dreams.

BIG GAME HUNTER

Have you ever come home from vacation, walked into your home and somehow intuitively known that something wasn’t quite right? Well, it happened to Nancy and I. All of the tell-tale signs were there: furniture knocked over, curtains and blinds torn and shredded, window sills and molding destroyed and woodchips everywhere. We’d barely been home an hour before we knew something wasn’t right.

“Honey, we have a house guest,” Nancy tells me. To be more precise, what we have is one pissed-off squirrel angry that we have invaded his new home.

“What are you going do?” Nancy asks.

“I’m about to go hunting,” I tell her as I pull on my khaki utility vest and jungle safari hat.

Now a debate rages between Nancy and I over the best way to evict out ‘guest.’ I’m for the direct approach, which means that anything involving gun powder and blood splatter sounds good to me. Unfortunately, Nancy has seen the damage I can cause with a power tool so she’s letting me nowhere near a weapon.

“I only know three things about squirrels,” I tell her. “They’re gray, if they’re named Rocky they like to hang around with a moose named Bullwinkle and the only good squirrel is a dead squirrel.”

Nancy chooses a gentler, less violent approach -- she opens a window.

“We just need the proper enticement to draw him out,” she decides as she ties a piece of bread to a long length of dental floss and then proceeds to hang out of a window on the second floor. She then lowers the bread until it’s level with the open window below.

“Here squirrel, squirrel, squirrel,” she calls as she jiggles the bread. It took a while, but eventually our guest decided that the bread was just too good to pass up and he dives out the window and joins his many friends in our back yard. I suspect there was a lot of squirrel high-fives taking place around the nest that night.

Sadly, this is the second time a squirrel has invaded our humble abode while we’ve been away on vacation and we still can’t figure out how he’s getting in. I suspect he may have a key. But what really bothers me is that Nancy has begun wearing my safari hat around the house.

Things That Go Bump in the Dark

It’s night and Nancy and I are alone in the house. We are just falling to sleep when we’re startled by a thunderous thump and a loud drawn-out dragging sound coming from somewhere inside our house.

We both sit up in bed and Nancy whispers, “What was that?”

Now how am I suppose to know what’s going on in the rest of the house? Half the time I’m not even sure what’s going on in our bedroom. Besides, I’m not clairvoyant, I’m scared. I’m the only person I know who’s childhood hero was The Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.

The problem is, if I tell her the truth she’ll want me to investigate. Apparently, during our wedding vows I agreed to take out the trash and investigate psychotic murderers crawling around our house in the middle of the night.

I decide not to panic her. “It was just the wind,” I assure her, my voice quivering with fear and my body shivering so severely the bed is shaking like a scene out of The Exorcist.

“Oh, okay,” she says, apparently not noticing my head tucked under the blankets. “Thank goodness you’re here or I’d be scared to death.”

Then she rolls over, closes her eyes and immediately falls to sleep. How in the world can she sleep? Does she really believe I’d be capable of defending her from the evil fiend that could make a noise like that?

She falls back to sleep and I have to lie there waiting for some monster to break down the bedroom door. Naturally, I suddenly have to go to the bathroom. Bad, but not nearly bad enough for me to climb out from under the covers. I’ve seen Psycho. I know what can happen in bathrooms.

That’s the problem with watching scary movies. I know the Grim Reaper is not wandering around my living room looking for his next victim, but I’d rather risk bursting a bladder than investigate.

Besides, I know it really was just the wind. And I don’t have to pee that badly, it can wait until morning. Everything always seems better in the daylight. Besides, Nancy always gets up before I do.

Don't Bother saying "Cheese!"

I bought my wife a new digital camera for Christmas because her old one stopped working. Every time she would press the button to take a picture a red light would come on. We’ve tried changing batteries and the memory card, but we still get nothing but the red light. If we could find the instruction booklet it would probably help, but alas, it was apparently stolen by neighborhood vandals because it’s nowhere to be found.

So now my wife has a new camera and we have some pretty great pictures to remember Christmas 2006 by. We have a picture of the floor, one of a wall and another of the back of our granddaughter’s head. This new camera not only has more memory, but also a mind of its own. You press down the button to take the picture and nothing happens. Eventually, either you or your subject gets bored and moves and then, snap, it decides to take the picture. If you wanted a picture of a sunset you’d have to press the button around noon time.

So today we returned the new camera. We still have the old one. Sure, we can’t take any holiday pictures with it, but the red light is kind of festive.

A Close Shave

How many razor blades does it take to get a close shave? The razor blade was invented in Egypt around 3,000 B.C. The first safety razor (the razor as we know it) was invented in 1901. Then came the double razor blade in the late 1990’s - they told us the first blade lifts and the second cuts the hair. They never explained why after 3,000 years the first blade stopped cutting. Then they added a third blade (apparently our hair is too heavy to be lifted by just one blade), and a fourth (for those extra-heavy hairs - you know who you are). And now, the latest and greatest, a five-blade razor! Strangely, the cost of the razors keep increasing as they continue to add blades. How many blades does it take to get a close shave? Is this going to continue until the razor is so heavy we’ll need help lifting it? I suspect it’s not the quality of our shaves, but the manufacturers profit that benefits from this many blades. Let me know what you think. As for me, I think I’ll just grow a beard.

Falling Leaves and Life

When the leaves fall from the trees you have no control over it...however, you can help clean up the mess!

Every day is not going to go as we planned. When things go bad, try and remember that it’s not what has happened, but how you handle it that’s important - even if it's not your mess!

Life is a lot like making soup

It seems to me that living your life is a lot like making soup - you need to be careful what you put into it because eventually you're the one who is going to have to eat it!

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

LESS STRESS - MORE HAPPINESS
The perfect combination for a better life!

STOP The Anger, The third book in the award-winning ‘Buddha in the Boardroom’ series is now available from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC.

Buddha in the Boardroom, the first book in the series, deals with handling job stress and was chosen by Writer’s Digest magazine as one of the best new self-published books of 2005.

Tomorrow’s Happiness Begins Today, book two in the series, shows how happiness is achievable and was chosen by T. Harv Eker, author of the New York Times best-selling ‘Secrets of the Millionaire Mind’ as a free bonus when purchasing 10 or more of his books at his weekend seminars.

Now the third book in the acclaimed series is available - STOP The Anger!

A young man storms into The Bodhi Tree Café after having a fight with his girlfriend and learns from Buddy, the lovable story-telling bartender, why nothing good ever comes from losing one’s temper.

Don’t let anger ruin your life! Anger often makes us feel strong while making us look weak in the eyes of others. Learn how to control your anger before it controls you!

All 3 books in the acclaimed series are now available from:

www.bodhitreepublishing.com

Frequently Asked Questions

Why a Buddha in the Boardroom? We found the Buddhist philosophy to be beneficial in our personal lives and decided that it might work as well when applied to the business environment. Based on the over-whelming positive response we have received, we were right!

You claim that Buddhism is not a religion, but I’ve always heard that it is. Which is it? Buddhism has been called a religion, a philosophy and a way of life. In truth, no one knows for sure how much Buddhism has changed over the last 2,500 years, but what is known is that there are numerous sects or branches (Zen being the most famous) and that even though their teachings may vary, their fundamentals (The Four Noble Truths, The Eight Fold Path, The Three Poisons and The Cardinal Precepts) remain constant and are in conflict with no other religion.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines religion as: “1. The expression of man’s belief in and reverence for a superhuman power recognized as the center and governor of the universe.” Many scholars claim that the Buddha believed in a Supreme Being but made no mention of it in his teachings because he believed that anything that could not be proven only causes us confusion and suffering. Many sects follow this logic and make no mention of a Supreme Being while others follow the Hindu teachings more closely and have numerous deities.

Regardless of your own religious beliefs, anyone following the gentle philosophy of Buddhism will find no conflict while living a happier, fuller life.

Why do your books take place in a barroom? We had two goals when choosing ‘The Bodi Tree Café’ as our setting. First, we wanted a place where businessmen might gather and meet someone they could then learn from, and second we wanted to do away with the image of all Buddhists being in robes and chanting.

Why is the shipping and handling so expensive for International shipments? Good question, unfortunately you are asking the wrong people. The United States Postal Service sets the rates and we ship Global Priority because otherwise there is no guarantee how long it will take the books to arrive. We make no profit on the $9.00 charge. The upside is that we have never had a problem with any of our shipments to Europe, India and Asia.

What is coming next in the series? We are currently hard at work on the final draft of Back to the Boardroom, a continuation of Buddha in the Boardroom with additional ideas for the workplace environment. We also have a first draft completed on Buddha in the Bedroom for applying ancient philosophy to marriage and dating. Additionally, we have future ideas for a Buddha on the Back Nine for the golfing enthusiasts (like ourselves) and also a Buddha on the Blackboard for teens. We are also open to suggestions for future topics.

Tomorrow's Happiness Begins Today

(The following is the first chapter from Tomorrow's Happiness Begins Today , the latest release from Bodhi Tree Publishing, LLC and Keith MacConnell and Gary Mosher, the authors of the award-winning Buddha in the Boardroom for handling job stress.)

CHAPTER ONE

It is only possible to live happily
ever after on a day-to-day basis.
Margaret Bonanno

The door opened and two women entered The Bodhi Tree Café and looked around the quiet room before making their way over to an empty table. Behind the counter Buddy, an older, bald man with a pot belly, finished polishing an already spotless glass before making his way over to greet his customers.

“Welcome to The Bodhi Tree Café,” he said with a smile as he slid menus in front of the women. “Can I start you off with some drinks?”

“I think I’ll just go with a diet cola,” the first woman responded.

“Do you have tea?” asked the second.

“Of course,” Buddy answered with his ever-present smile. “I’ll be right back with your drinks, just take your time looking over the menu.”

When Buddy returned the two women were deep in conversation.

“Oh goodness, we got to talking and haven’t even opened the menus yet.”

“That’s okay,” Buddy said as he placed their drinks in front of them. “Take your time. People often find this a popular place for conversation.”

“It does have a friendly atmosphere,” the first woman said in response to Buddy’s infectious smile.

“I could use a little cheering up right now,” the second woman admitted. “We thought maybe a meal would help.”

“Then you’ve come to the right place,” Buddy assured them. “I’m the owner, Buddy, and I pride myself on running a cheerful establishment. Why are you so down?”

“Oh, it’s a long story,” answered the second woman. “You don’t want to hear about my problems.”

“I’ve got plenty of time,” Buddy said as he waved his arms around the nearly empty café. “And I know a thing or two about being happy.”

“Well, if there’s a secret to being happy, I wish you’d share it with us,” prompted the second woman.

“I’d be happy to,” Buddy told her. “You have to make your own happiness.”
“That’s it?”

“Some people spend their lives waiting for happiness to arrive on it’s own and it never comes,” explained Buddy. “Others work hard at creating wealth but still aren’t happy, discovering that money only brings a new set of problems.”

“Well, I agree that money is probably not the route to happiness, but I’m not sure it’s actually possible to create happiness,” complained the second woman. “You’re either happy or your not. I’m afraid it takes more than just effort.”

“To find happiness you first have to understand where happiness comes from,” Buddy suggested. “Happiness is an emotion and not something physical.”

“Oh, I know that,” complained the second woman. “Believe me, I want to be happy. I’ve tried to be happy.”

“Memories are to the mind what a mirror is to the eyes - a reflection,” continued Buddy. “The mirror reflects the physical while our memories reflect the emotional. When you look in a mirror it reflects what we look like; when you look in your mind it reflects who you are. One big difference between the two is that you can change what you see in the mirror fairly easily, but you can’t change the memories reflected in your mind.”

“I’ve never thought of it that way before,” the first woman admitted. “You’re suggesting that happiness comes from our memories of the good times and not the good times themselves.”

“Exactly,” Buddy agreed. “There is a difference between having fun and being happy. We tend to spend a lot of time and effort trying to improve what we see in the mirror, but little or no effort trying to improve our memories.”

“Well, I don’t see how a person can improve their memories,” complained the second woman. “A memory is a memory. You just said they couldn’t be changed.”

“True,” agreed Buddy, “but every action creates a new memory. Do you really think that the person who is bitter and angry today was happy and cheerful yesterday? We can begin to improve our memories by changing how we react when someone says or does something which angers or upsets us. We can either add to the painful memory with our own negative response or we can replace them with positive words and actions and create positive memories for tomorrow.”

“I guess what you’re saying is true.” the second woman admitted. “It’s just not as easy as you make it sound. When someone angers me my first impulse is always to strike back.”

“If you really want to be happy tomorrow you must choose carefully what you do today,” Buddy told them. “Today’s actions will be reflected in tomorrow’s memories. Everything you do today will be in tomorrow’s reflection, and once there it can’t be removed.”

“So you’re saying when someone treats us badly we should ignore it?”

“If you don’t, you’re allowing the other person to control how you feel. I’m suggesting you not give up that control. His unhappiness is his problem, don’t let him make it yours. The next time a person angers you, instead of lashing out, try imagining you are holding up a mirror which bounces the reflection back at him, knowing that his words or actions are a reflection of him and not of you,” Buddy suggested.

“And you think this will bring us happiness?” asked the second woman doubtfully.

“It’s a start. We all want to like what we see in the mirror. To be truly happy we also have to like what we see reflected in our minds. What the mirror reflects is not nearly as powerful as what the mind reflects, for it reflects our words and actions. Will tomorrow’s memories be filled with goodness and joy or bitterness and anger? What have you done today that will bring you happiness tomorrow?”

“So a big part of our happiness depends on our own actions,” the first woman realized. “That’s what you meant by creating our own happiness.”

“I’m afraid we still have some more work ahead of us,” Buddy said with a smile. “Now, can I start you ladies off with an appetizer?”

Golfing Grannies

For the experienced golfer, playing a new golf course for the first time is always an exciting occasion. My three buddies and I arrived full of anticipation at the prospects of the challenging round ahead; then we see the foursome that will be playing ahead of us - four very elderly women complete with what looks like orthopedic golf shoes and shawls in case the temperature drops below ninety degrees.

My friends and I immediately begin pacing like caged tigers and go into our ‘woe is us’ routine.

“I can’t believe they are going to let them play in front of us!”

“They must have bussed them here from the nearest nursing home.”

Proper etiquette is important, nowhere more so than on the golf course. Golf etiquette requires that a golfer replace his divots, fix ball marks on the green and let a faster group play through.

Finally, one of my buddies can take it no longer and he boldly struts over to the four seniors and asks if we can play ahead of them. Mind you, they haven’t hit a shot yet. Three of the woman look angry, but the fourth just smiles, points her cane in our direction and suggests that maybe we should go ahead and let them begin and see if they slow us down.

The four geriatric seniors then proceed to play like the proverbial ‘bat out of hell.’ By the time we’ve hit our first shot, the women have disappeared from sight. Racing gazelles couldn’t have kept up with those sprinting spinsters.

We spend the afternoon slicing from sand trap to water hazard to poison ivy patch. After a few holes there is a hole and a half gap between us and the octogenarians. We begin running from shot to shot and calling eight foot putts good and we still can’t gain on them.

By the time we drag ourselves in after finishing the round, the gap is so large between us and the nursing home patrons that they’ve had time to eat a three-course meal in the club house lounge.

“How’d we do, sonny?” the woman with the cane calls out as she uses a napkin to daintily dab from her lips the last few crumbs of her dessert.

A Buddhist proverb on respecting your elders states, “If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask someone who’s already been there.” Maybe there is something we can learn from our senior citizens - like patience, proper etiquette and a better golf swing.

The Buddha Never Worked in Customer Service

There are some pretty lousy jobs out there, but the most frustrating occupations have to be those that require dealing with total strangers day after day. It never fails to amaze me how mean a perfect stranger can be to another without any cause or provocation. Anyone involved in customer service is probably familiar with The Seven Evil Dwarfs: sleazy, nasty, grumpy, mean, dopey, rude and ungrateful.

What could make an individual so miserable that they have to take it out on someone they don’t even know? Someone who is just doing their job?

It seems to me that if you work in the customer service field that you encounter two kinds of people, those that are kind, sincere and understanding and those that are complete jerks (I’d use harsher terminology, but this is a family blog).

The Buddha taught that you have an obligation to treat both types of customers exactly the same.

If the person you are dealing with is pleasant, cooperative and understanding, you should try as hard as you can to insure that they leave in a better mood then when they arrived.

If the person is mean, rude or angry, you should also try as hard as you can to insure that they leave satisfied and in a better mood then when they arrived. This isn’t always possible, but if you allow the other person to ‘bring you down to their level,’ you are allowing the other person to control you - you’ve lost a battle that never should have taken place! Remind yourself that their words and actions are a reflection of them and not of you.

If you saw someone stumble and fall, you would feel sorry for them. Well, if someone is angry or rude, they have stumbled spiritually. Don’t take what the negative person says personally, they don’t even know you! Show them the same compassion you would if they had stumbled physically.

Every time you handle an angry customer in a calm, pleasant and professional manner you have taken a step forward spiritually. Every time you allow the other person to control your emotions you have taken a step backwards.

The Buddha never said this would be easy. What he did say was, “There is no greater gift a man can give than to be of service to others.” I’m guessing the Buddha never worked in customer service.

Write Your Own Life's Story

If you want to be happier, don’t just journal your life, script it.

Each night before bed, instead of just writing in a journal what has already happened to you (things you can’t change), try writing your script for the following day (things you would like to happen).

Write down your desires and wishes even if you know they can’t come true right away. For example: I will get up on time for work. I will leave the house on time. I will be pleasant to my co-workers (unless of course, you’ve scripted to have a miserable day).

Some wishes may be long term projects. Don’t be to vague and don’t be to detailed. Not ‘I want to be happy’, instead, ‘I would like to be happily married’. Not ‘I want to win one million dollars in the lottery’, instead, ‘I would like to have more money or find a better paying job’.

Continue to try and follow your script no matter what happens.

Oops!! You just had a minor car accident on the way to work! It’s not in your script! So, how will you handle it? Will you have a temper tantrum and let it ruin the rest of your day and make sure it ruins the day for everyone else you see today? Or oops! Miserable day wasn’t in your script! You’ll handle the accident in a calm and mature manner to the best of your ability and will try not to continue any negative feelings, knowing you need to get back to your script as quickly as possible if you want to have a good day. You must make the effort to have your day follow your script as closely as possible. Script! Script! Script!

If there is anything in your life that makes you cry or feel negative, wouldn’t your time and effort be better spent following your script?

There are many ways of scripting. You can go from vague on some things to detailed on others. If your journal doesn’t follow your script, script how you can try to make it follow it more closely.

Don’t expect things to happen over night - some things may happen quickly and others over time, but eventually you will be able to look at your journal and realize it’s pretty much become your script.

If you wish for something strongly enough, you will follow your script. If you don’t try and follow your script, maybe you didn’t want the outcome as much as you originally thought.

Write down your wishes.

Write down ways of making them happen.

Don’t let your life just happen - make your wishes come true.

Make things happen for you, don’t just let things happen to you.

Write your own life’s story.

A Middle-Aged Couple Try Mountain Biking

My wife and I need to exercise more. Every time we leave the house we notice vultures circling overhead in anticipation and now our washing machine is doing that nasty thing where it shrinks our clothes. So, in a moment of pure inspiration and absolutely no intelligent thought whatsoever, we decide to take up mountain biking. We could remember biking as kids and there was nothing to it. We set out to purchase our bikes with the fond memory of a cool breeze gently blowing in our faces.

One of the first things we notice is that the seats are too small. Apparently they are now making the seats smaller than in our youth. The clerk smiles knowingly and smugly suggests that for the more mature biking enthusiasts they can attach foam padding. There is, of course, an extra charge. My wife chooses the extra padding and is currently riding around on what looks like a bucket seat from a 1967 Buick. I, on the other hand, have decided to save the additional expense and go without the padding. My proctologist has assured me that the tingling in my left buttock should eventually fade away.

Early Saturday morning we prepare for our first cycling adventure. We decide to leave early to insure we'll be back before dark. My wife is to travel in front and carry a fanny pack with suntan lotion, a first aid kit and our medical insurance cards. Her job is to set the pace. My job is to follow behind and criticize. I'll be carrying a backpack filled with: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (for subsistence), energy bars (for endurance), 2 jugs of Gatorade (to replenish our bodily fluids), rain gear (in case of inclement weather), a map and compass (in case we get lost), a flashlight (in case we're lost at night), and signal flares (to assist the search party).

We go over the route one final time. I spread the map out on the kitchen table, pointer in hand. "This is the route we'll be taking, so pay close attention. If you have any questions, now is the time to ask."

I carefully review the emergency procedures. "If separated, we will rendezvous either here, at check-point Charlie, or here, at check-point Romeo."

"We've been over this four times already," my wife complains, obviously taking the whole adventure much too lightly and showing no respect for my superior training and experience. After all, I was the one who spent nearly two full years in the Cub Scouts, not her. Fortunately, I understand the seriousness of the task ahead and have taken the necessary precautions.

We're finally ready to put our weeks of training and preparations to use. It's time to venture forth and boldly go where no sane middle-aged man or woman has gone before -- it's time to leave our driveway.

I brief the kids. "Now remember, while we're gone I want one of you to remain by the phone at all times in case we need to call for assistance."

"But you're only going around the block," the kids complain. "The house will be in sight the entire time."

Ah, the innocence of youth. They oversimplify everything.

How Being More Like John Travolta Can Improve Your Relationships

I don’t know of many things that will hurt a relationship faster than a lack of communication. When was the last time you made an effort to REALLY listen to what the other person is saying? Our days are so hectic we find our mind flying off in a dozen different directions all at once and it’s hard to actually slow down our thoughts enough to completely listen to what another person is trying to communicate to us. In a heated discussion it becomes even more difficult. Perhaps we should behave more like bees.

Bees have a very unique way of communicating. The scout bee heads out each morning in search of flowers. When he finds a patch, his job is to fly back and tell the rest of the hive how to get there.

There are two things that makes the scout bee’s job difficult:

First, bees don’t fly in a straight line. They go up and down, left and right and around in circles, yet the scout bee still has to remember how to find his way back to the hive and explain his route to the other bees.

Second, bees can’t talk. Somehow, the scout bee needs to communicate to the rest of the hive a very specific location without using words! How does he do this? you ask. He does it by dancing.

That’s right, when the scout bee gets back to the hive he does his I-know-where-the-flowers-are dance until he has the attention of all of the other bees, then he goes into his this-is-how-you-get-there dance. He points his little bee butt in the direction he wants the others to fly in and then he shakes it to let them know how far to go in that direction, then he points his butt in the next direction and again shows them how far. He continues his dance until the rest of the hive knows where the flowers are located. The only reason this works is because the other bees are all paying attention.

If the other bees weren’t paying close attention, the scout bee could put on a leisure suit, turn on a disco ball and get up on stage and dance like John Travolta in ‘Saturday Night Fever’ and he still wouldn’t get his message across. The other bees have to pay attention.

If you want to improve your relationships, maybe you should learn to pay attention like a bee. If that doesn’t work, you can always take up dancing.

What Are You Afraid Of?

I’m not talking about a fear of flying, snakes or the bogyman, I mean what is it you’ve wanted to do with your life that fear has prevented you from accomplishing?

Maybe you’ve shied away from a serious relationship for fear of being hurt.

Maybe you’re afraid to try a new occupation for fear you’ll fail.

Maybe you’re afraid to tell someone you like them for fear of rejection.

The list could go on and on endlessly, but the truth is that wherever you find fear you won’t find happiness. If you don’t conquer your fear, then your fear has conquered you.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Fear defeats more people than any other thing in the world.”

If you face your fear, if you do that which you fear most, then the fear disappears. Sure, you may fail. You may get hurt. You may be embarrassed, but you overcame your fear and every time you overcome your fear it makes you stronger.

Fear prevents us from trying, and the only man who is sure to fail is the man who fails to try. The way to conquer fear is to stop thinking about it and to start acting on it. Not every time is going to turn out exactly how you hoped. There will be failures, but there will also be victories.

Eric Hoffer said, “The fear of becoming a ‘has-been’ keeps some people from becoming anything.”

Don’t be afraid to fail, be afraid of not trying. Think of this as a motivational kick-in-the-pants. You can be highly motivated and live life to the fullest. You can be moderately motivated and just ’go along with the flow’. Or you can just do nothing and life becomes meaningless.

Fear is a loss of control - face your fears and take back control. Take a chance. If it doesn’t work out, you can always blame me.

Do You Want to Know a Secret?

What is it about gossip that we find so appealing?

No one admits to enjoying gossip, but we all do it. Why not, it’s easy, it’s fun, and it gives us a feeling of power. Gossip gives us a false sense of superiority: first, because we know something someone else doesn’t know until we share it with them, and second, gossip is usually about another’s faults or problems.

Walter Winchell said, “Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.”

Why is gossip so bad?

Gossip is usually taking advantage of someone else’s misfortune.

The Buddha said, “The tongue is like a sharp knife that wounds without drawing blood.”

Even if the gossip is true, it’s often hurtful. A lot of harm can be caused by even the smallest of whispers. To put it another way, even the largest snowstorm begins with just a few flakes.

The gossiper loses this sense of superiority when the recipient eventually learns the truth and realizes that the gossiper can’t be trusted. Gossiping says more about our own character than the person we are gossiping about because the person you are gossiping to now knows that you can’t be trusted

Instead of gossiping, our time could be better spent correcting our own short-comings rather than pointing out those of others.

The Buddha went so far as to suggest that not only should we refrain from gossip, we should also stay away from those who do gossip. Why? If a person is talking behind everyone else’s back, you can be sure they are also talking behind yours.

Psssst! Do you want to know a secret?

Each Day is A New Journey

Think of each day as a road trip to someplace new.

You pack up the car with what you think you’ll need and then you hit the road. Some of the locations you pass will be familiar to you while others will be totally new. There will be speed bumps and pot holes along the journey, and maybe a speed trap or two, but you’ll spend most of your time cruising down the highway.

Maybe there will be a traffic jam along your trip. Do you bang the steering wheel in frustration or sing along with the radio?

You may meet a stranger along your trip. You may cross paths with an old friend.

You might pull into a rest area for a quick break. You could stop to eat with a few friends. Eventually, as your day draws to an end, your journey brings you back to your driveway.

Do you treat each day as an opportunity to meet new people and experience new adventures, or do you make each journey with your eyes closed?

When you set out on your road trip, do you pull out of your driveway remembering the wonderful sights and experiences of previous trips, or do you dwell on the times you got lost or had a flat tire?

The Dalai Lama said, “Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day.”

Every day is a new day.

3 Things We Can Learn From a Mongoose

I believe we can learn a lot from observing nature - take the mongoose for example. You may already know that the mongoose is one of the few animals that will hunt and eat snakes, but did you also know that they love to eat eggs?

In South Africa there lives the smallest breed of mongoose called the Kusimanse. Just like their larger cousins, the Kusimanse love to eat eggs. The problem is that while the larger mongoose can crack an egg open using their claws, the Kusimanse is too small and weak. Instead, when a Kusimanse finds an egg he rolls it around on the ground until he finds a rock he can bump it against. You see, the Kusimanse has learned that whenever an egg and a rock meet, the rock always wins.

Now, it seems to me that there are 3 important lessons we can learn from this tiny mongoose.

First, there is more than one way to complete a task. The Kusimanse may not crack open an egg the same way as the larger mongoose, but he gets the job done.

Second, no matter how small or weak we may be, no matter how inferior we may feel, if we are persistent enough and creative enough we can still accomplish our goals.

And third, it is okay to be different. The Kusimanse doesn’t care that he opens an egg differently from the other mongoose, he’s just happy because he gets to have his snake and eggs for breakfast.

It Works! It Really Works!

I’ve had a very difficult week - my computer stopped working. My service provider (who shall remain anonymous) offered a free download of a very popular anti-virus software. I thought, ‘Why not, it’s free!’ Unfortunately, this free software deleted part of my operating system and my computer became nothing more than a dust collector.

My service provider apologized (over and over again, to their credit), calling me every day (once after midnight) with a new ‘fix’ to try, none of which worked.

Each call followed the same pattern:

“We are very sorry this happened and I will help you correct the problem.”
“Thank you, that would be wonderful.”
“First, I want you to click on the START button.”
“There is no START button.”
“It’s in the lower left-hand corner of your screen.”
“No, it was in the lower left-hand corner of the screen. Your free software removed it.”
“Please hold...I will investigate this further and call you back tomorrow.”

The following day I receive another call from their tech support department from someone who says he is the supervisor of the person I had talked with the previous day.
“We are very sorry this happened and I will help you correct the problem.”
“Thank you, that would be wonderful.”
“First, I want you to click on the START button.”

This continued for over a week. Each day I received a call asking me to click the START button.

I told them my business was on this computer, that I was an author and that my books, invoicing, graphics, customer list, the last 2 years of my life, were on this computer. They assured me they would try even harder.

The eventual solution was that I needed to take my computer to a repair shop where they would copy all of my files to another hard drive, reinstall the operating system and then reload my files. It worked and I’m back in business.

Now, you might think that the title of this column refers to my computer being back up and running, but it doesn’t. I’m more excited that the lessons I’ve been sharing actually worked. I knew I could talk the talk, it was good to see I could also walk the walk.

I can think of 4 lessons in particular that helped me get through this painful experience:

#1) Stuff happens. We don’t always know why something happens (good or bad), but life goes on.

#2) It’s not what happens (because it’s already happened), but how we handle it that is important.

#3) Mistakes happen. Accepting the mistake and correcting it is a lot more productive than placing blame or just feeling sorry for yourself.

#4) Getting angry only makes matters worse, it will never help an already tense situation.

Maybe I can add a new chapter to my next book.

#5) If you want less stress in your life, it wouldn’t hurt if you backed up your files once in a while.

I'm Not Sick, I Just Don't Feel Good.


Sometimes it is out of the mouth of babes that we receive our greatest wisdom. The title to this column was told to me by my 3 year old granddaughter when I wouldn’t let her go outside to play because she had the sniffles. I couldn’t help wondering: How many of us feel like that every day?

Sometimes stress - job, family, overdue bills, etc. - can seem so overwhelming that we all have days where we are not sick, we just don’t feel good.

Here is the best advice I know for cutting down on the stress in our lives: Try to take things in stride. The more you make of something the more it becomes, so try to take as many things in stride as you can.

Once you start making small things big it can snowball on you and become a vicious cycle and before you know it everything is a big deal. If you practice taking things in stride, it becomes easier and therefore life becomes easier.

Many things are what you make of them. If you make it big - it will be big. If you keep it small it will seem small. To have less stress keep it small - take it in stride.

If you make a big deal out of the small stuff, what will you do with the big stuff? An example is the mother who yells at the child for every little thing. What will she do when it is really important? Yell louder? Will the child ‘hear’ her better?

Making a big deal out of the small things is a waste of energy and creates stress where there doesn’t need to be any. Want less stress? Make less stress.

If you have a small pebble in your shoe, do you make a big deal out of it or do you sit down, take off your shoe, shake out the pebble, slip the shoe back on and then go about like nothing happened? Jumping up and down and yelling will not make the stone go away any quicker - if anything, it only prolongs the agony.

Anytime you get upset over something you can take in stride you are prolonging the agony/stress. If you truly want your life to be less stressful you must be careful you don’t create it.

To get rid of stress - play it down. To create stress - play it up and make a big deal out of it. Before you know it you’ll have plenty of stress. Stress creates stress.

Don’t prolong the agony, play it down and get rid of it. Who needs it?

Same Old...Same Old

Does today seem no different than yesterday?

Everyday is a new day because things can change today. You can make it a new day by initiating the change - or not, it really is up to you. Today will feel like a continuation of yesterday’s “same old…same old” if you are not willing to take the initiative to do things to bring about a change in your life.

Don’t let your life become a vicious cycle of the ‘same old…same old.” You have the ability to make today something different, something special, and not just a continuation of yesterday.

If you want to wakeup tomorrow thinking that “today is a new day” you must think about what changes you need to initiate in your life to end the “same old…same old” cycle.

Step #1 is in realizing that you feel like each day is just a continuation of the day before.

Step #2 is in the thought process of what you can do to bring about changes in your life.

Step #3 is to then actually initiate the changes.

These changes don’t have to be major. Sometimes it can be as simple as cleaning the house, taking a walk, visiting a friend, starting a new hobby, joining a new club or planning a vacation.

Try something new. Anything. If it is not what you are looking for, don’t go back to the “same old…same old,” appreciate the experience and then try something else!

When a wagon wheel gets caught in a rut it has to stay in the rut until it breaks free. Living in a ‘rut’ is letting life control you. Seeing what is outside the rut is you controlling your life.


THE FOLLOWING IS A SHORT STORY I WROTE OVER 10 YEARS AGO ABOUT ME TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT:

A Law Of Nature

No one had prepared me for the strange behavior I would witness while attending my one and only Single’s Dance.

When I arrived, one of the first things I noticed was this stunningly beautiful woman sitting at a table by herself. It seems I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Snaking away from her table was a line of men that weaved it’s way through the room so it looked like a reception line at a wedding. I swear that some men just entered through the front door and then headed straight over and got in line.

What really amazed me was that each man would slowly shuffle forward until he was first in line. Then he’d ask, “Would you like to dance?”

She would respond, “No, thank you.”

Then he would slouch off, head held low and the next guy would edge forward. “Would you like to dance?”

The answer was always the same. “No, thank you.”

It continued on until the whole line had passed in review. Each man had his own style. Some would step forward sheepishly, others with a swagger. Every one was shot down to crash and burn.

Finally, when the line had trickled to an end and it appeared there wasn’t a man left whom she hadn’t rejected at least once, she got up and left. She walked out the door and never returned.

I’m still not exactly certain what happened that night. I am confident, however, that if a representative from National Wildlife magazine had been present we could have solved one of the great mysteries of nature -- that of the lemming.

The lemming is a small rodent that lives in the Artic and is known for traveling in massive migrations. What isn’t understood is why occasionally, the entire group, thousands of them, will just walk off a cliff into the ocean and drown. Scientists have no explanation, but I do.

I suspect that the leader is one stunningly beautiful female lemming and that the others are balding, middle-aged male lemmings hoping he’s the one she’ll choose.

The End

FINAL NOTE: The woman in the story is the perfect example of someone who decided to change her life by going to the dance and then said no to every opportunity presented to her. As for me? I met my wife (11 years this month) at the one and only single’s dance I ever attended!